Call you home
by smaragdbird
Summary: Coulson has a long night drive before him, Clint calls him to keep him awake throughout it (Clint/Coulson)


"Evening boss", Clint said as soon as Coulson answered his phone.

"Don't tell me, you accidentally shot someone and want me to clean up the mess for you."

"I…no, why would you think that? I've never accidentally shot someone."

"Just a thought. What do you need then? And make it quick. I need to be on my way."

"I know, that's why I called. If you want to drive the whole night through you need something more than coffee and doughnuts."

"Really?"

"Yup, after all if you're on the phone with me you can't fall asleep behind the wheel."

"Or I could turn on the radio."

"The radio doesn't make you answer it. Unless you're psychotic or in a horror movie."

"Right, you're doing this out of the goodness of your heart."

"Of course. Agent Coulson do you suspect me of ulterior motives?" Clint pretended to be horrified.

"Where could I have gotten that idea?" Coulson's reply was heavy with sarcasm. "Also, I assume that you have a day off tomorrow so you can sleep off this night."

"I've done worse than being awake for longer than 24 hours."

"Keeping awake in the field is quite different from being awake on my couch."

"How did you even…You know sometime I believe Tony's right and you're a psychic. Should I fear for the day when the X-Men demand you back? Or wait you totally have a sordid past that's why it's not in your file. You were a Brotherhood member weren't you? Until you escaped Magneto's evil claws?"

Coulson said nothing.

"Seriously? You're giving me the silent treatment over the phone?"

"You could always hang up, Barton."

"Not gonna happen. You've been gone for too long. Someone needs to make you catch up with all the stuff that happened since then."

"I was gone two weeks", Coulson said as dry as a desert.

"Exactly! We fought alien robots two days ago. Weird stuff. They sort of crumbled when you disabled them like a staked vampire."

"What I'm going to take away from this is that you're watching Buffy."

"All episodes and-wait, you didn't know that? This isn't like in my file or something?"

"No, why should it? And even if it was what makes you think I'd have it memorised?"

"Because you know everything. When I started here there were rumours that you are actually a cyborg."

"You were disappointed when that turned out not to be true, weren't you?"

"Maybe a bit", Clint said with a small laugh. "But on the other hand you look adorable when you haven't shaved in a while."

"Yeah", Coulson deadpanned, "that's the effect I'm going for."

"I bet you're looking scruffy right now, I mean how long have you been away, two weeks? You'll look like a disgruntled kitten put into an impeccable suit."

"I will hang up on you", Coulson threatened mildly.

"You won't. It's not my fault only Thor and Tony can rock the facial hair. Also I haven't given you the good gossip yet."

"You keep promising but so far you haven't delivered."

"Have I ever let you down?" Coulson could practically hear Clint's smirk over the phone.

"There was Buda-"

"We all agreed that that never happened", Clint said quickly.

Coulson smiled to himself.

"Steve's been hiding something that came with the mail the other day", Clint said after a while.

"And you broke into his room at the first opportunity to see if it was porn", Coulson finished for him.

"Never sat a foot into Steve's room", Clint said in a tone that made Coulson wait silently for the big but. "I just happened to be in the ceiling when he took it out. Want me to tell you what it was?"

"No." He could hear the pout on the other end. "Steve is entitled to his privacy like everyone else."

"You're no fun."

"So people keep saying."

"Selvig and Jane stopped by a couple days ago. I smell a conspiracy. I bet they plan world domination in those labs with Tony and Bruce while the rest of us isn't looking."

"Did you and Natasha watch Bond movies again?"

"Maybe", Clint grinned. "Maria and Natasha shipped out yesterday. Super secret mission to a five star, all inclusive spa resort on Bali. They'll be gone the whole week."

"If the Director has classified it as a mission then you shouldn't doubt them."

"Even though Pepper has taken off a week as well?"

"Coincidence." As Clint was perhaps the only member of Shield who didn't need to be ordered into taking off-time, Coulson had no reason to divulge Fury's tactics to him. "What about Thor?" Coulson asked instead.

"What about him?" Clint replied a little too casually.

"I'm just asking."

"He…he keeps talking about Loki since he came back", Clint was silent for a moment. "Can we keep Sif instead? Natasha would love that."

"Jasper too."

"Really?"

"He called the other night to ask me about Asgardian dating advice."

"What did you tell him?"

"To ask Thor."

"Never thought she'd be his type."

"He had a thing with Maria when they were still Junior Agents."

"Sitwell and…no, you're making that up", Clint said decisively.

"Whatever you say, Agent Barton", Coulson replied dryly. A sign pointed to the next petrol station. Coulson changed lanes and followed it. As far as he could see he was the only customer.

"Why did you stop?"

"Petrol station."

"Buy me some crisps."

"You're not even here."

"Buy me some anyway. They'll hold until tomorrow. And no holding up robberies."

"No promises."

Coulson just sat in his car for a moment after he had filled up the tank and bought a cup of coffee, two packages of doughnuts (he could never make up his mind whether he liked powdered or glazed ones more) and the crisps Clint had asked for. It was four am in the morning and the temptation to simply lean back against the headrest and take a nap, if only for five minutes, was overwhelming.

Instead he picked up his phone. "Are you still there?"

"Mmmh", Clint murmured.

"Giving in to the temptation of my couch?"

"Mmmh, I love this couch. It's much comfier than the rest of the couches here. I bet Fury sneaks in here as well to have a nap now and then."

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that." He started the car and drove back

Clint laughed, low and sleepily. "I always imagine our first kiss would be on this couch. Like that time you just sat here when I came in, sleeves rolled up, no tie, your collar open. I really wanted to kiss you then. Despite that beard or maybe because of it, I'm not sure anymore."

Phil had no idea what to say to that. The silence must have gotten too long because Clint asked, "You're still there?"

"Clint, what you said…."

"Big secret's out." He sounded like he was trying for casual but it came out wavering and gloriously obvious.

"Why now?"

"I don't know. Maybe because Tony finally got around to asking Bruce out. Did I mention that?"

"No, you didn't."

"You'll see the pictures splayed over every newspaper in the morning anyway. Guess that's why I didn't say anything. Seemed useless to tell you if-"

"Clint", Coulson interrupted his babbling gently.

"Yeah?"

"When you came into my office that day I wanted to kiss you, too. And pretty much every day since." He had faced down terrorists, mad scientists and even aliens but waiting for Clint's answer made his heart pound in his chest as if he was a teenager again.

"We can totally do that. The moment you arrive at the car park if you want."

"I won't be able to shave", Coulson said casually.

Clint laughed. "I think I can handle that."


End file.
